The Uncomfortable Conversation
by aachannoichi
Summary: Chris is waiting at BSAA's headquarters to have a promised conversation with Jake and the topic is someone no one wants to discuss.


The Uncomfortable Conversation

It had been awhile since Chris's was in London at the BSAA Headquarters, but this seemed a perfect neutral venue as any to meet with Jake and have their discussion. A conference room was set up for their impromptu meeting and all that was left was for Jake to show up. It had been a few hours since the BSAA released Jake from their custody, so chances were he wouldn't even show up, and who could blame him if he didn't. Chris decided it was best if he gave the kid the benefit of the doubt and waited. If it was one thing Chris hated was waiting.

Chris was seated at the conference room table twiddling his thumbs. He had an overwhelming itchy feeling that he would never be able to shake. When he was younger he would smoke to get rid of itchy feelings like this. The taste for nicotine was so strong in his mouth that he nearly forgot he stopped smoking years ago. Another escapist vice of his was to drink heavily, but it was only until very recently he had quit drinking too. Try as he may to use these methods to cope, they were only temporary measures to alleviate this nervous feeling. The only way to truly rid himself of this anxiety was to clear the air, until then he had to wait with butterflies swirling in his stomach.

This was a horrible week. First he had to notify Piers's family about his death, which was always a horrendous position to be in. That look of utter heartbreak and disbelief in his family's eyes was like a poisoned dagger in his heart. And something that was far worse than the icy dead stare of any B.O.W he'd encountered. In his own way, he tried to give them some comfort and told him that he did not suffer and died a hero's death, but to hear them sobbing so bitterly made it difficult to keep his own frail emotions intact.

As if doling out tragic news was not difficult enough to bear, he now had the equally difficult task of having that promised conversation with Jake about his father, Albert Wesker. Chris hated thinking about Wesker. Even the mere mention of his name sent a disgusted chill down Chris's spine and filled his mouth with bile. It had been four years since he and Sheva killed Wesker and he still had this persistent animosity towards him. All the death and carnage he had caused; the villages, cities, lives, and families he had destroyed and all for what, to become a God? To rule over a cold and lifeless planet? Wesker's motives were sickening and he deserved to rot in hell.

But this was not what Jake needed to hear. Actually he had no idea what he wanted to say to Jake or even if anything required to be said at all. Chris wanted to clear the air with him, set the record straight. He wanted explain why he killed his father, beyond the justifications of revenge and duty. Who knows, maybe this chat would give the kid some peace of mind or at least answer some lingering questions he may have had. Or maybe he wanted to unburden his own guilty conscious. The latter was probably more truthful than anything else. Never in a million years did Chris expect to run into the child of his bitter nemesis

Chris looked at his watch nervously it was two-thirty in the afternoon; Jake was supposed to show up an hour ago. Given the lapse in time, he probably wasn't going to come at all. Chris sat at the conference room table not moving. He couldn't tell if he was relieved about Jake not showing up or disappointed, in either case, he still had tons of paperwork to fill out and it was best if he saw to that before heading on a plane back to the US. Just as Chris pushed his chair back to get up and leave the room, the conference room door swung open and in sauntered Jake. Chris turned and looked at the kid; it was uncanny how much he resembled his father. Shy of the fire red hair and dark blue eyes, he looked just like Wesker.

"Thanks for coming Jake." Chris said kindly.

"Yeah well don't make a big thing about it." Jake snapped.

"Please sit down." Chris said standing up and pulling out the conference room chair next to his.

Jake cautiously walked over to the largest chair at conference table and sat in it, instantly propping his feet on the table.

"Jake…" Chris paused a moment, struggling to find the right words to say to him. "Uh, how are you holding up?"

Jake sneered smugly at Chris. He had no time or patients for inane small talk.

"Look man." Jake said. "Stop trying to tickle my balls and get to the real reason why I'm sitting here."

"Right." Chris said. "How much do you know about your father?"

"Dad? Let's see." Jake questioned his dark blue eyes looking up in the air as though he were seriously contemplating the question. "He was a fucking psychopath who went around injecting himself with viruses. He dumped my mother while she was pregnant with me. And he was a deranged Machiavellian who damn near caused the end of humanity. I think that pretty much sums my dad up, don't you think?"

Jake was about to get up and walk out of the room, but Chris stopped him.

"Jake hang on a second." Chris said.

"What for?" Jake asked angrily. "So you can tell me that he was a maniac that deserved to die. That he had it coming and you couldn't pull the trigger fast enough? Fuck that, man! I don't want to hear it."

"Listen Jake." Chris said trying to calm him down. "I… I don't know what to tell you."

Chris paused for a moment trying to gather his thoughts.

"Just say what you need to say to me so I can go." Jake spat.

"Please Jake." Chris practically pleaded. "Sit down."

Reluctantly Jake went back to the large chair and sat down to wait for Chris to say is peace. Chris sat down in his chair and tried desperately to think of something to say to Jake.

"God I wish I had a cigarette." Chris blurted out mindlessly as he looked down at the table.

"Those things will kill you, man." Jake said shaking his head.

Chris's head immediately popped up and he looked at Jake, then he began to laugh strangely.

"What the hell is so funny?" Jake asked sounding more irritated than confused.

Gradually Chris stopped laughing and answered Jake, "That's the same thing your father told me when I first met him."

Jake was now more confused than ever. This asshole wasn't making a bit of sense and this '_conversation_'turned out to be a greater waste of time than he previously imagined. He wanted to get up right now and leave, but he promised Sherry he would talk with Chris, without weapons. Although, he thought, a bullet to the head would expedite his departure at this stage.

"Jesus." Chris said finally calming down. "I haven't thought about that night in years."

Jake glared at Chris and waited for him to continue.

"When I first got to Raccoon City I was a little older than you are right now." Chris said. "I had been kicked out of the Air Force, I had no money, and I was drifting from town to town when my friend Barry picked me up at the Raccoon City bus depot."

"Yeah, and?" Jake said.

"In those days I was living on Barry and his wife's couch." Chris admitted bashfully. "I was drinking and smoking way too much. It was Barry that encouraged me to fill out the application for S.T.A.R.S, but I wasn't into it. I was half in the bag when I filled out the application and completely toasted the day I turned it in."

Jake couldn't help but smirk at that last comment.

"One weekend while Barry and his family had gone to visit relatives out of town, someone rang the doorbell and I answered it." Chris paused. "It was your father."

Jake looked over at Chris, but was unfazed by what he said.

"I remember I came to the door with a cigarette in my mouth and your father, the first thing he said to me was without even asking my name or anything was, '_Cigarettes will kill you, you know?'._" Chris had a half-smirk, the first time in what seemed like eons he thought about Wesker and was not filled with ire and loathing. "I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone and something I don't even like to admit myself, Jake."

Jake perked up a little but refused to show too much interest.

"When I joined S.T.A.R.S I admired your father." He said in a strange unfeeling tone. "He took me under his wing back when I pretty much had given up on myself. He was…"

He balked at what he was about to say next, but he needed to say it and judging by everything Jake had heard about his father, he needed to hear it.

"Wesker, at least in those days, was a decent guy." Chris said softly. "Uh…"

Chris cleared his throat and tried to find a balance for his emotions.

"It was because of his leadership that our missions were so successful." Chris continued.

"And what is any of this supposed to mean to me?" Jake interrupted. "If he was such a '_decent guy'_ then how come he walked out on my mother? And why didn't you remember all these happy shiny memories before you killed him?"

Chris looked at Jake and his heart sank. At the time he killed Wesker, all he could think about was the malice and horror of everything Wesker had done to the people of the Kijuju region. He wanted to protect Sheva and the world from Wesker's wrath. He craved revenge for his fallen members of S.T.A.R.S also the lost lives in Raccoon City. He wanted to avenge Jill and all the experimentation she endured because of him. Yes, he hated Wesker, yes he was happy to have killed him, but no matter how many times he repeated these things to himself, it was not exactly true.

There was another side of this story, one he pressed deep down inside himself and refused to acknowledge. But when he killed Wesker Chris also felt a bit remorseful too. In his darker moments, he felt a twinge of agony knowing that he ended the life of the man who meant so much to him in his youth. Wesker, Captain Wesker, was more than just his commanding officer; he was a trusted advisor, a mentor, and a friend. Perhaps if Wesker hadn't gone off the deep end the way he did, he would have worked with the BSAA alongside himself and Jill. His expertise in field operations would have been invaluable. Not to mention his leadership skills. Oddly enough, Chris's leadership style at the BSAA was similar to Wesker's when he was captain of S.T.A.R.S. The ugly truth was, the moment he killed Wesker a small part of him died as well.

'"I don't know Jake?" Chris answered softly. "The truth is I have no idea what kind of man your father really was."

Jake looked at Chris strangely, this was complete and utter bullshit. He was really close to getting up and leaving now, but he knew that Sherry would hear about it and be really disappointed. It was something about her that reminded him of his mother. Jake remembered how much he hated seeing the look in his mother's eyes when he disappointed her, it was always like a taking a kick to the groin it was so painful. He could never bear to disappoint her and he couldn't bear it if Sherry gave him that same sorrowful look, so he forced himself to endure this stupid ass discussion.

"When I think about him..." Chris paused a moment. "He did some really fucked up things to a lot of people, including your Mother. But knowing you're his son, I can't tell you to hate him."

Jake chuckled to himself. He couldn't believe that the man who admitted he had a grudge against father, a man that had ended his father's life was telling him to not hate him. In fact he was reiterating the same thing his mother would tell him about his father, it was too surreal.

"What's wrong?" Chris asked.

"Nothing..." Jake evaded.

"You admit you had it in for him though." Jake asked with a rather unemotional tone in his voice.

"Yeah I did." Chris answered.

"So how should I feel about him then?" Jake questioned. "If I'm not supposed to hate how am I supposed to feel?"

"That's for you to decide." Chris said looking at him sympathetically. "You never met him?"

"Not even once." Jake answered quickly.

"Then it's your choice what you take from this conversation." Chris said. "Good or bad, nothing changes the fact that he is your father."

"Yeah," Jake said getting up from his seat. "A fact that I'm reminded of a lot these days."

Jake started walking to the door and was about walk out of the conference room when Chris got up from his chair and stopped him again.

"Listen Jake..." Chris started.

Jake turned and looked at Chris. He was tired and ready to leave. He had spent the last few days undergoing debriefings and medical testing. He was spent and ready to take a long hot shower and rest before moving on to the next stage in his life.

"The BSAA is going to classify your relationship with Wesker as Top Secret." Chris said. "No one should ever come after you again. And one more thing."

"What?" Jake said.

"For what it's worth…" Chris paused. "You're a good guy and you shouldn't feel like you have to live your life in Wesker's shadow. You should live your own life the way you want."

Chris extended his hand for a friendly shake. Jake looked down and contemplated not shaking his hand. He still wasn't sure if he liked Chris or not, but at least he was honest with him.

"Eh, what the hell." Jake exclaimed taking Chris's hand and shaking it heartily.

When the handshake was over, Jake turned the knob of the door and opened the door wide. Chris patted Jake on back.

"Take care, man." Chris said kindly. "If you ever need anything…"

"Yeah, I'll call Sherry." Jake said jokingly.

The two men chuckled and Jake walked out of the conference room while Chris stood by the door watching him disappear down the hallway. He couldn't be sure if he helped Jake or not. Jake wasn't the easiest guy on earth read and it was hard to tell if he had gotten through to him, but hopefully he got something positive out of this conversation; perhaps some of his bitterness towards his father would dissipate and he could move forward with a clearer understanding that his father wasn't always a brute.

However for Chris it felt good to finally acknowledge how he felt about Wesker and stop hiding behind a veil of animosity. Sure the hatred would always be present, as well as the bitter disappointment, but behind that raging sea of destructive emotions was still that pride he felt the day Captain Wesker accepted his application to S.T.A.R.S and the admiration he had for his commanding officer. Good, bad, or indifferent, Wesker had given him a purpose and molded him into the man he is today. For better or worse nothing would ever change the fact that Albert Wesker played a major role in Chris being the man he was today.


End file.
